anything goes in, anything goes out

My cousin just left an hour ago. She stayed in my flat for a couple of days. We did rather a lot of cheerful sightseeing together, but she also had time on her own to browse through London. It goes without saying that I didn't allow her to go to Madame Tussaud's, as this would have meant cutting her out of my will. Blood is thicker than water, fair enough. But some things are just unacceptable.

To all you out there who consider going to Madame Tussaud's at some point in your lives. If you want to pay a fortune to see bloody wax figures - ranging from Henry VIII to Britney Spears - some of them really poorly done, queue for about 2 hours (if you're lucky), be surronded by sweating, cursing and pushing tourists, then this is the place for you. Otherwise, don't even think about going there. It's a rip-off.

Rather, go to Tate Modern instead. It's free, it's breathtaking, it's culture. And: No queues.

Last but not least, I have the pleasure to announce that we have a new housemate. About one foot long, furry, not cuddly, sneaky. It's what zoologists call Rattus rattus, a fully grown rat. It went for the poisonous bait. We don't know if the rat kicked the bucket yet, but it might be rotting behind the oven now.

Fish & Chips

It’s now already more than a month since I arrived on the island. I have successfully warded off any attempts of friends and collegues to make me eat fish & chips, I have victoriously managed to get an interview for a National Insurance Number (NIN), I have established the first contact to an unknown species called aristocracy, and I am about to mesh into British lifestyle (with some noteworthy exceptions, of course).

What bothers me most is, however, that I’m still waiting for an invitation to Buckingham Palace. All my attempts of catching HM the Queen’s attention have failed so far. Whatever happened to the famous British politeness?

Looney Bunnies

Nearly 1,900 bunny hoppers — dressed completely in the part — hopped to hop their way into the record books with their simultaneous jumping recently. During the afternoon, 1,880 people joined in Lake Geneva's second attempt to hop for five minutes straight and claim the World's Longest Bunny Hop.

Organisers are hopeful that their latest attempt will break the current record of 1,501 participants jumping together in 2002 in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, U.S., according to the Guinness Book of World's Records. "I am so excited," said organiser Kathy Fraser. "I just knew we could do it, and it just looked like we had more people than last year, right from the beginning."

Über den Wolken ...

There have been some adventurous purchases made on eBay, but a Chinese man who has bought a MiG fighter takes the cake.

Zhang Cheng put in the winning bid of $24,730 but is now unsure about how to get the still operational jet into China - or if it will be allowed. "I like to collect valuable items," said the hopeful Zhang. "I have the buying power and my company has an empty space where I can display the plane," he told the Beijing News.

A Chinese company recently went bankrupt after it unsuccessfully tried to run the retired Soviet aircraft carrier Minsk as a floating amusement park in Shenzhen.

Liquid sunshine

Liquid sunshine? No, we haven't had much so far. The weather has been fine, despite all the nasty comments I received when I left Switzerland.

In fact, I haven't used my umbrella so far. Fair enough, it was quite cold a couple of days ago, which, however, is largely due to the quality (or lack thereof) of British housing.

Totally useless fact: Did you know that London has actually less rainfall than Rome?

Apparently, it does. Touch wood.

Hence, jokes like these are absolutely inappropriate (but they're funny nevertheless):
- Hi, did you have a good Summer in England?
- Yes indeed, we had a great picnic that afternoon...

However, talking about the weather is a sign of utter mastery of the English language:
This morning, I was walking outside, when suddenly a big shower fell on me!

Commuting

Commuting every day to work is the unavoidable outcome of a city too large and too expensive. The harsh reality of many Londoners and suburbanites is spending hours every day on buses stuck in traffic jams, in the overcrowded tube and on unreliable and expensive trains.

It takes me only 50 minutes from my house to the office, although grabbing a seat in the tube is a matter of luck. I change at Bond Street, and walk from Baker Street to the office. When the terrorist attacks struck London last year, many people were faced either with a night on a very hard park bench, an expensive journey by taxi, or a long walk home. All public transport was suspended immediately.

When standing on the long escalators, I can't help being fascinated by the sheer amount of people that work in London; and by the enormous task undertaken by transport of London of facilitating mobility for so many customers. Imagine: The greater London area alone has an estimated population of about 7.5 million people, while the whole metropolitan area has between 12 and 14 million inhabitants. All in all, around 300 languages are spoken in this area, making London one of the most linguistically diverse cities in the world.

Commuting is unavoidable. The so-called city, or square mile, is the innermost district of London. Roughly one square mile large, it has a resident population of only 7,000. However, during the day, this figure amounts to an estimated working population of 300,000. That's an increase by a factor of 40.

London is the heart of the United Kingdom in any respect. The capital alone produces a fifth of the country's GDP (= Gross Domestic Product). Novelist Joseph Conrad made his alter ego Captain Marlow call London "the sepulchral city". At least, however, Conrad was so kind as to situate the heart of darkness somewhere else.

Did the Romans, who populated Londinium at around AD 43, ever imagine how their settlement could look like two millennia later?

Touchdown in the UK

After arrival I whizzed over to my house. Lovely room, lovely housemates. But my heart stopped for a second when I realized that we don't have internet.

The good news is it is about to be installed. So to all Skypers out there: Wait.

Luckily, I found a library nearby with Internet access.

Anyway: Thanks for the comments, keept it up, fellows. Remember: Don't blindly accept the rubbish I write, strike back with might and main.

Bye for now.

Prologue

Dear all

Before you go "gosh, why the heck does he write all that in English?", let me welcome you on my blog.

Targeted also at a non-German-speaking audience, this blog will hopefully be read in Switzerland, England, Scotland, Wales, Denmark, Lithuania and many other countries (yes, Wales is a country, I've been told...). And this is the reason why I chose to write it in English.

Ok, fair enuff, there's also another reason for that. Not only do I want to impress you all with my English (and very likely make all my English folks roll on the floor laughing), but I also want to practise my English. Let's say it is most economical that way.

So anyway. I hope you have fun reading through my adventures on the island. I'll try to update my blog as often as possible.

Therefore: Return and see.

Cheers, Markus